Forward thinking

Here's a little peek into my Moleskine notebook at one of my many doodles. Always move forward and never let anything pull you back from chasing after your dreams. 

Head Towards the Light...

Flowers grow from darkness underneath the dirt upwards towards the light, and with enough light and water, they bloom. I saw a quote which iterated that more eloquently than I just did, but I've been thinking about it a lot since I came across it. 

Things feel very dark for me right now. I feel as if I'm fighting through the dirt, trying to find my way to the light, trying to overcome the obstacles in front of me, and despite my hard work, years of struggling, and sheer persistence, I am knocked back down below the surface. 

I should probably explain. You see, I came so close to finally having a full-time job, in my field, doing something I'm passionate about, with a company I love, in a city I love, and it fell through my fingers. 

For whatever reason, it just was not meant to be, no matter how much I wanted it, no matter how confident I felt about it, no matter anything, it was not in the cards for me. At least that is what I've been telling myself for the last week when I start feeling that sense of failure that accompanies getting rejected.

Maybe I said something stupid. Maybe my background wasn't exactly what they were looking for. Maybe I wore the wrong outfit. Maybe my handshake sucked. Maybe they hated my voice. 

Maybe's aside, I have to face it-- the job is not mine. That is now the past and my focus is on today and the future. I'm going to keep fighting through the dirt, in the dark, clawing my way to the surface, growing along the way. Someday soon, I will see a glimmer of the proverbial light. I'll get another chance at achieving my goals and realizing my current dreams. I'll get the job that is perfect for me and I will bloom into a beautiful flower, and when I do, I will appreciate it that much more and I will work that much harder. My struggle is not in vain, my skills will not go unused, and my dreams will come true!

April Dreams Bring... ?

We're already a few days into April. Three months of 2013 down.
Whenever a new month begins I always end up thinking about how fast life moves and all of the things I want to accomplish.
I want to expand my garden.
I want to do something with my ridiculously long hair. A new color, a new cut, a new something.
I want to visit Philly. I miss it there.
I want to keep creating. Paint. Draw. Sew.
I want to see Jurassic Park in 3D because well, Jurassic Park is awesome.
I want to accomplish so many things and the days never seem long enough.
There are things I want for myself that seem so unattainable at the moment, like when you wake up from a fantastically real dream and for a few blissful seconds you are still mentally there. It all seems reachable. The dreamy haze wears off though. I realize that I still have yet to make my dreams come true but that's okay. One day my dreams will come true and then I'll have new dreams to work towards.
Until then, I'll keep creating and exploring and trying new things and enjoying the life I have now before change comes knocking at the door.

Free People Love

Head over heels for these Patched Slim Slouch Jeans

FP, how do I love thee... Let me count the ways...

Whenever Free People unveils their latest catalog, I fall in love all over again with the brand and its entire vibe (prettypleasehireme). July was absolutely no different, especially with these Lou-inspired looks modeled by Aline Weber (total babe). Being heavily inspired and influenced by my male counterpart and heavy metal music, I adore the touches of toughness that FP always incorporates into their looks and products... Inspiration to be a more badass chick always!

Sigh..

Philadelphia at dusk. Taken with my iPhone last spring.

I miss Philadelphia. I am not giving up. I will return. I visit often but it's nothing like living there. It's the place where my man and I fell in love, where I discovered myself, the place I called home for more than six years. My dreams will come true and I will be back, Philly. My drive and passion will bring me back. I know it.

We are the dreamers of dreams...

"We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;--
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems."
-Arthur O'Shaughnessy, 1874

Today's dream...

Live by a beach, if not directly on a beach.

Wildwood, NJ